The Girl With Arthritis

You know those really important moments where you think you've said the wrong thing? I think I just had one of those moments. I say I think because I'm not really sure if it was or not. I had an interview for school, and I think I did well except for one bit. I was reassured I did well, but I'm not sure. I think the worse thing about it is that I just don't know. I think it's better to know that to be guessing. And from all the nervousness, my hip is killing me. Usually this happens when I over work it, but today is was caused by my nerves. And several hours later, it still hurts. Tonight is going to be a fun night. Please excuse my late and short post. As you can tell, it hasn't been an easy day.

I am a very negative person. Not occasionally, but always . I don't really know how I am or what I do, but I guess I am from what I was told. I had always thought of myself as realist, not a pessimist. I thought I laughed and smiled enough, and I don't often have very depressing days. I suppose I'm wrong though, because I now know I am a very sad, depressing person and that I ought to be more enthusiastic.  I nearly laugh thinking of what I was told today, because I never thought I was this sad person I was made out to be. Enthusiasm is great over something happening, but am I suppose to cheer when the teacher hands us a test? Am I supposed to jump up and down (if I could, anyway) before I eat a favourite food? Should I beam when I give a person a present, only to find it's unappreciated? I guess so because everyone else does this and I'm the only person in the world who doesn't. Perhaps I should take notes on being a more positive person from this person?...

I can't say that I'll go in remission, but I also can't say that I won't. You don't know when your bad days will happen, because once in awhile there could be a good day after a day you over worked yourself. Occasionally, you find a medicine that actually works. But sometimes it won't last long. That's the thing about arthritis: You never really know what's going to happen tomorrow. And so, it's only appropriate to say... "The suspense is terrible... I hope it'll last." -Willy Wonka

I'm actually writing this as I try and begin an art project (just a painting of a kitten), so please bare with me. I think it's funny how people have to take medicine to care for the side effects of the medicines that care for the symptoms of a disease. I remember taking one NSAID that caused me headaches, severe light headedness, fatigue, muscle ache and later extreme nausea. The light head feeling was so bad that I would tip my head upside down and cover it with a pillow just to feel like I actually had blood in my head. I ended up staying home from school for about a week, with that weekend being filled with- to put it bluntly- vomit. I think the worse part about this all, was the doctor kept telling me to push on. I actually ended up in way more pain from the medicine than I ever have from the disease. My mum, being the smart woman she is, took me off of it after I couldn't move. And me, being as stubborn as ever, eventually fired that doctor after two years of him ig...

When I was on Methotrexate, I lost quite a lot of hair. Not enough to have bald patches, but enough to have much thinner hair. It's a bit nerve wracking to feel thin hair when you have had a thick head of hair since birth. I did eventually get a bit used to it, and I actually began to like it. Then I stopped Methotrexate last spring, and almost a year later, I got my normal hair back. Well, mostly: A bit is still growing back. However, I didn't get back to normal hair without a struggle. It started growing back towards the end of the summer. This typically would've been cause to celebrate but I began to have a lot of hair just randomly sticking up straight off the top of my head. Honestly, you don't realise what you have until it's gone, and you don't realise it's place until it comes back. I have so much hair that is so much shorter than the rest of my hair and it looks terribly messy. Granted, it did come back and I'm glad. Currently, it's bett...

Yesterday I was invited to go to one of my friend's houses. She has a little ice skating rink, so my friends and I were invited to skate.One of my friends was on crutches, and when she walked in everyone said "Wow, Elizabeth, it's not you this time!" :) We all had a lovely meal, and then most of us got on the ice. We were all having a wonderful time, because even if you weren't skating, you were sitting next to a warm fire. Some of the boys couldn't find ice skates in their size so they just walked on the ice, which was very funny. A common thing you heard when I got on the ice was "Elizabeth, don't hurt yourself again." Some of us started pushing one another on these sort of plastic boxes. Finally it was my turn to push a friend who was sitting on one. We barely even left where we started when I felt some sort of force push against me (I suspect the girl's skate, as she said she was trying to help push herself). That force caused us to tip...

I write a good portion of my day, whether it's for school, this blog, communication or leisure. Some of my favourite things to write are skits and sketches, specifically comedies. I actually will use some in the coming months to make a short film for art class. Anyway, some of that inspiration for my comedy skits actually comes from having arthritis. No, it's not funny to have arthritis. But, I do find the humour in some of the worse parts of it, as you might have witnessed on this blog. I don't want to be sad at all, and I'm too stressed from school and such to be serious all the time too. And I've found that a lot of the time, people will learn way more when they can laugh and not be serious (Thank you to Horrible Histories for teaching me this). Also, as a side note, most I do actually preform these skits. Typically they require a wide variety of characters. So I play them all. Rest assured, you can only imagine how many mustaches I've ever drawn on. :) ...

I've had a long day, as you can tell by the late post. I didn't really get to think about something to write about today. My arthritis isn't bothering me what so ever, so I don't even have anything to complain about. So, I guess I'll write about what happened to me this morning. I woke up extremely thirsty this morning. My alarm clock hadn't gone off, but I thought it wasn't too long before I had to get up anyway. I went and got myself a drink. I highly advise against drinking anything sweet when your half asleep: It will be the tartest thing you've ever tasted. Anyway, I was practically sleep walking so to try and wake myself up more, I turned on the television. I tried to find a nice programme to watch when I noticed something odd. It said it was 1.30 in the morning. I didn't think that was right, and checked quite a few other clocks before believing I had a couple hours to sleep. I don't know how I pulled that off, but I did. The thing I...

I was actually going to write a post about the difference of 'shy' and 'introverted.' But, since I found a way to relate being an introvert to arthritis, the topic has changed quite a bit. ... But just so you know the difference, to be shy is to fear social rejection. To be an introvert means that you gain energy from being by yourself and an extrovert gains energy from being around people, among other things that vary from person to person and also is not extremely relevant to the topic. Now you know. Anyway, in a lot of ways I think that Arthur is an extrovert. He's an extrovert who only wants to be with me. You see, he needs his energy because of all the fatigue so he hangs out with me a lot, which is bad for me because I am an introvert and need time away. Arthritis also causes me to miss out on some things, like when my friends go roller skating because he is so annoying and won't stop bothering my joints so I don't get to use the energy I've be...

Hooray! I'm finally on Facebook! My page is on the link below! https://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/The-Girl-With-Arthritis/483751758329235?fref=ts Sorry to be so late, I had only gotten home from school a few hours ago, which is not a bad thing at all. I had extra classes, and inbetween them I got to hang out with friends and I actually met some new friends. So, a good day besides for being late.

I actually started this blog last year on 12 Janurary. I felt kind of bad that I ignored the one year anniversary, so here's the late anniversary post! I think I've gained so much from starting this blog, and I know that a lot has changed since then. But I would not have gained anything if it wasn't for all my readers. So, rather than celebrating the fact that I've blogged for a year without quiting, I want to celebrate the most important thing: You ! Thank you if you've stuck with Arthur and I from the beginning, or if you're just reading for the first time. I know I'm not a celebrity in the world of blogs, but you make me feel it. Recently, I've recieved a lot of comments, emails and just general views on my blog. I'd like to thank everyone who reads my blog or who took the time to write because this is nothing without you. I  started this with the hopes of just making one person think 'wow, I can relate to this' or just making one per...

Dear All Medical Conditions, I am not a sufferer of arthritis. Arthritis is a sufferer of me. And this is a warning to all other diseases that you should not come near me. I'm a rather bad patient: I don't have time for you. I will take care of you, but I will not cater to you: We are not doing what you want when, you want because we will be far to busy doing what I want, when I  want. Annoying me does not help as I'm a firm believer in the silent treatment. Also, I hope you like art. Because you will sit up with me all night while I finish my art projects. These nights really annoy Arthur, and he likes to try and pull me away from my work. Unfortunately for him, I don't give in because I like art way more than I like him. And that is no different for you. If that doesn't scare you away, I will find ways to make you leave: Medicine has really come a long way in this modern age. If that doesn't work, I have ways of making you behave. Arthur is currentl...

If you've ever been asked 'What's your pain on a scale of one to ten,' you know what I'm talking about. I get this question quite regularly regarding arthritis, and every single time I stop and really think. You see, I have quite a hard time picking a number. Since ten is supposed to be the worse pain you've ever felt, I try and stay away from 8, 9, 10 and most especially 11. I'm very much used to my pain, though it's still pain none the less. But just so my doctor get's the point, I stay away from anything under 5. So far I've elimated seventy per cent of the scale. This is where it gets tricky. I almost always put my monthly pain in 7. Seven is 'A lot of pain, but I'm still making it day after day.' Also so they  don't think I'm faking or something. But 7 in and of itself is quite boring. I like to spice things up. On a bad month, I'll call it a 7.8. On a good, it will just be a 7 or maybe even a 6.5. But mostly, i...

I'm what they call, a 'speed reader.' And about two months ago, my friend let me borrow this book by one of my favourite authors. I looked at the size of it and figured it would be easy to finish. I still haven't finished it. It's not that the book is challenging, it's that I literally cannot pull myself to read it. I only very recently have picked it up and enjoyed reading it. I'm halfway and I'm determined to finish it. I want to know what happens. Or at least I keep telling myself that. You see, I keep telling myself I want to finish it. I know in life there are going to be things I don't want to do at all, but I'm going to have to finish anyway. It's hard when you have to do  something that seems unnecessary or unpleasant, but it's in completing these tasks we tend to feel most satisfied. Worrying about a task seems to take more energy than doing it and then never having to think about it again. And to a person who has fatigue from ...

I don't know why, but it's been a rather quiet day. It's been a uninspirational day as well: I abandoned about three projects in one hour. But that has seemed to be a trend with everyone, not just me. Today I would like to share some of my favourite quotes to inspire a happier, more productive tomorrow. "We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we're curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths." -Walt Disney "Despite everything you've been told, you can be bold beyond what others believe you to be. So see in yourself what you wish others to see. Be brave in a way that others may never know. Live like the under-tow that catches and keeps stars spread across the night. Shine in the dark places. Lend the world your light." -"Shine" by Shane Kozycan “Go and make interesting mistakes, make amazing mistakes, make glorious and fantastic mistakes. Break rules. Leave the world more interesting ...

Hi. So the next few days are going to be rather odd, please bare with me. I'm going back to hospital soon, so please understand I most likely won't post anything on Thursday. Despite having a hospital visit, I probably won't write about it since it is not arthritis related (kidney related). This may cause a delay in timing of my posts, but I will try my best to keep it around my usual time. But, I'm trying! I don't have anything to really write about today, other than that of above. So I'll just leave you with some arthritis humour. What goes creak in the night? An arthritis ninja. :)

I'm just having a bad day today. I just really don't like how I feel when I move: Everything is sore and stiff and uncomfortable. I'm extremely frustrated right now. All that frustration comes from feeling awkward about the way I move, being uncomfortable from the pain, being upset that I can't do much to help the pain and that people just don't get that I don't feel good, and from being held back from doing what I really want to get done. I'll probably just relax for a bit now and see if tomorrow is better: I had a few things I wanted to do that I'm really just not up for at the moment. The truth is, arthritis isn't just a chronic and painful illness. It's an uncomfortable, frustrating, awkward disease. Sorry, I just needed to express the emotional symptoms.

Dear World, I don't know why we hide things that aren't perfect. Humans are not perfect and that is not to be ashamed of. People hide their natural hair, skin, interests, and just a lot of things that make humans so great. We also try to hide things that are nearly impossible to hide. I was pondering this the other night and realised how many things I try to hide away. So today, I'd just like to make public the biggest thing I try and hide and I do this because I'm very tired of my attempts to hide away. The number one thing I try to hide is my voice.  I have a hard time talking to people my age. I think a lot of them think I'm kind of dumb, so I get nervous. Sometimes I stutter or don't say things correctly, but other times I'm just so nervous of judgement that I won't talk at all. This isn't without reason: In the past, even just a few days ago, I've had people laugh when I speak. I don't know why, but they do and I hate it. I don...

I kind of hate retelling my day in a blog. I mean, when something actually happens it's nice to write but most of the time nothing happens. I seem to write generally about one subject or another. I like doing that the most. If anyone has any ideas for me to cover, would like me to write about something, has any questions for me or would like my opinion on something, let me know in the comments or send me an Email at girlwitharthritis@yahoo.com . Thanks :)

Dearest Life, I would like you to know something: I'm smart, and I'm proud of it. Of course, I may not appear to be proud of it. You know, like today in class when in a brief moment of confidence, I raised my hand and I told the teacher my take on a piece of figurative language. Though she was amazed at the depth of my take, I felt terribly embarrassed: While I talked, the entire class laughed. Nobody made a joke, or a funny face. They were just laughing at me. I wanted to cry. I wanted to take back that moment of courage and trade it for a hundred opportunities I would miss because of a lack of courage. But you know what? It was worth it. It was worth it because of all the times kids picked of my limp. Because of all the times my joints cracked and people stared at me. Because of all the times I cried from when I pushed myself to keep up with the kids so they wouldn't laugh at me again. It was worth to be laughed at because of something I am proud of a...

You know that moment when you do something, and then find out it wasn't necessary? When you realise how much time you wasted? I had one of those moments today. Last night I worked very hard on an essay for class. Though I thoroughly enjoyed the work (I really like the subject that I was writing about), it was still stressful. When I went into class today, I found out the teacher only wanted us to speak of it openly in a discussion during class. No need for essays. Great. I apologise for the rather brief posts lately; I have had so much school work, I've barely had the time to think about what to post, forget write and publish it! But now that I'm just about finished with all of it, I will be posting as usual. Hopefully.

About a month and a half ago I stopped playing my guitar. Not to say I gave it up, I just haven't played it. But today I picked it up again. Figuring I wouldn't be very good, I didn't get my hopes up. However that was not the case. I'm actually pretty good, especially for a month and a half absence. It's very unlike arthritis in the case that if you stop caring for it for a month and a half, it'll probably be much worse rather than the same or better. Then again, I think you probably wouldn't leave it alone for that long since Arthur is a rather nagging thing: Pain demands to be felt. Anyway, I prefer not moving like a robot as much as I already do. :)

Today in class, a teacher put together groups of students and gave each group a paragraph of the last page of a novel to examine. Instead of giving my group a paragraph, she gave us the very last line. Unlike the others who were rather frustrated that we were given a very confusing line, I was thrilled. My teacher saw my expression and told me that it's harder than it looks. I didn't think so. In fact, I pulled apart almost every word and wrote as many interpretations on it as I saw made sense. You see, in a way I relate this to arthritis. I walked around for years with the obvious symptoms of arthritis, being ignored because I was just too young to possibly have arthritis, or any sort of disease for that matter. And yet, every time someone I knew who had obscure symptoms went to see a doctor BANG they had a diagnosis and a cure. I could never understand it. In a lot of ways, I feel like that little line that everyone dreads. Nobody wants to read deeper into it because it...

So, as you may know I take Enbrel twice a week. Yes, I do inject it myself, typically in my stomach. And I've perfected my needle poke ability over the past few months. I learnt very quickly to run my hands under warm water for a few minutes after washing them before I get started. Not only is this good hygiene, but so I won't go 'Ah!' when I touch my stomach, as has happened when I have cold hands. But it's pretty funny to watch my reaction to touching my stomach with cold hands. :)

Dear My Favourite Authors, Thank you for everything. Thanks for letting me be a hologram with the Kingdom Keepers. Thanks for inviting me to fight with Katnis. Thanks for bringing me to Narnia. Thanks for introducing me to Gatsby. Thanks for giving me Hazel, Augustus and Isaac. Thanks for always giving me a home at Hogwarts. Thanks for making me forget Arthur for a while. Love, Elizabeth.

People tell you all the time that being a child is the best time of your life. I believe it too. In the same way though, I can't wait to be grown up. I guess what I'm saying is that I'm quite happy with my life: all of it. That's all.

Hello! So, I would like to announce my plans to expand to Facebook soon. As some people know, I'm rather active on Inspire on the Psoriasis and Psoriatic Arthritis boards. I also have an account on HealthBoards. In an attempt to branch out, I will be adding more ways to connect in the next few months. While I do not have Facebook at the moment, I will in the coming weeks. I'm hoping to be able to reach out to more people, especially teens and young adults, with arthritis.

Recently, due to my current kidney problems, I had to get a MAG 3 scan with lasix . So, curious as to what was going to happen, I used the power of Google to find what would happen. Most of my searches lead me to hospitals for children (of which I do go to anyway), saying that all people get a catheter for the scan. I wasn't sure why this was, because of the nature of the scan, so I went on to search and mostly got the result 'your child's doctor may order a catheter.' For the most part, it's young children who get the scan so I couldn't find much information for a teenager or adult. So today I'd like to write about my MAG 3 Scan for other teens or adults to read. I know this is not arthritis related, please bare with me. First off, I wore comfortable clothes. I got to keep my clothes, not hospital pyjamas, for the whole thing: There was metal on my clothes, so metal doesn't affect the machine. The machine is not affected by metal the way an MRI or Xr...

With more and more people using the internet, I think we've seen a lot of good and bad. The bad is obvious, with lack of personal communication and so on to more dangerous things. But I think a lot of people never realise the good! It's good because people make friends from all around  the world now and share talents that typically would never be shown. This blog is an example. The medical websites I go on a lot are another, especially the websites where you get to talk with other people such as Inspire.com (I highly recommend it, I have an account: ArthritisGirl). People help each other so much now, and you don't have to feel so alone. Youtube is a perfect example as well. A lot of teens and young adults (even older ones) video tape talents and tricks, share their music and art, and even make their own videos. It's great when other people enjoy what you enjoy. And where there are teenagers sharing, typically friendships are made. Many kids have friends from all o...

I've had a lovely start to the year, if I do say so myself. One of my best friends came and slept over for New Years, and though we didn't do much of anything aside from watching Youtube videos and listen to music, it was nice to have company. I was pleased when I woke up with less morning stiffness than usual. I spent the first day of the new year doing positively nothing. Well, not nothing. We watched Doctor Who, Youtube videos and just hung out in pyjamas until noon. Hey, that's not a bad way to start off the year if you ask me. I'd like to do more of that, if I ever had the time.