Dear Life, It's Worth It
Dearest Life,
I would like you to know something: I'm smart, and I'm proud of it. Of course, I may not appear to be proud of it.
You know, like today in class when in a brief moment of confidence, I raised my hand and I told the teacher my take on a piece of figurative language. Though she was amazed at the depth of my take, I felt terribly embarrassed: While I talked, the entire class laughed. Nobody made a joke, or a funny face. They were just laughing at me. I wanted to cry.
I wanted to take back that moment of courage and trade it for a hundred opportunities I would miss because of a lack of courage.
But you know what? It was worth it. It was worth it because of all the times kids picked of my limp. Because of all the times my joints cracked and people stared at me. Because of all the times I cried from when I pushed myself to keep up with the kids so they wouldn't laugh at me again.
It was worth to be laughed at because of something I am proud of and have confidence in, rather than something I couldn't help at all.
Love,
Elizabeth
I would like you to know something: I'm smart, and I'm proud of it. Of course, I may not appear to be proud of it.
You know, like today in class when in a brief moment of confidence, I raised my hand and I told the teacher my take on a piece of figurative language. Though she was amazed at the depth of my take, I felt terribly embarrassed: While I talked, the entire class laughed. Nobody made a joke, or a funny face. They were just laughing at me. I wanted to cry.
I wanted to take back that moment of courage and trade it for a hundred opportunities I would miss because of a lack of courage.
But you know what? It was worth it. It was worth it because of all the times kids picked of my limp. Because of all the times my joints cracked and people stared at me. Because of all the times I cried from when I pushed myself to keep up with the kids so they wouldn't laugh at me again.
It was worth to be laughed at because of something I am proud of and have confidence in, rather than something I couldn't help at all.
Love,
Elizabeth
Hey Elizabeth! I found your blog through RA Guy, and just wanted to say I love your blog. It's so nice to find another teen with arthritis, makes me feel like I'm not alone :) I've had arthritis since I was 16 (I'm 18 now), and since the disease is pretty new to me, I'm still learning how to live with it. But anyway, thank you for your posts! They cheered me up today.
ReplyDeleteHello Arianna! I'm glad my blog made you happy. :) I always love knowing I'm not alone in this disease: Even though I've had it since I was a baby, I was only really diagnosed four years ago. Thanks for reading my blog, your comment today really cheered me up today.
DeleteI can't imagine having this disease as a baby! It's hard enough as a teen, but at least I had a mostly healthy childhood. I still haven't been diagnosed, but I have all the symptoms and it runs in my family.
DeleteI'm sorry I don't have a blog for you to read, but I've bookmarked yours so I can keep up :)
Oh okay, thanks for letting me know Ena.
DeleteMost people didn't imagine I had it either: I got really used to pain so I got used to it and didn't complain much.
Is yours very severe? How do you help the pain?
Thank you :) .
I'm at the point where I'm so used to the pain that I can ignore it most of the time. But yes, the pain is severe and it's in every joint, so that's hard. I've been in and out of physical therapy for a year, and learning the exercises has helped the most... it keeps my joints strong and gives me more energy. A positive attitude is the second thing that really helps :) Also, making sure I get enough rest and don't overdo is important.
DeleteWhat do you do to cope with the pain?
I too, am at the point I can ignore it.
DeleteI used to do physical therapy, but it really did not improve anything. Mostly, I keep a good attitude and just try to not overdo anything. On the occasions I have to, I tell myself it's worth it (such as when I'm in a lot of pain after a long walk to somewhere fun, like a concert). Sometimes I try and draw how I feel to cope. Thankfully though, Enbrel is working for me.
Oh, sorry. Arianna and Ena are both me, Ena's my nickname. Sorry for the confusion!
ReplyDelete