I'm Happy

There hasn't been any commotion here on the blog, or on any of my social media. Normally it's when I'm not doing well that I don't write because it's harder to concentrate and I save my spoons for what absolutely must be done. But as of the past weeks, it's actually because I'm doing very well. In fact, the past few weeks have been some of the best I've ever had.

With the start of a new school year came lots of changes, but I certainly embraced them rather than tried to keep things as they were: Change is very good, and sometimes you have to be the change you want. There have been lots of nice things that have come my way lately, which I've been very fortunate for. I'm walking and moving more than in the past, and I know I am stronger now: I've even gone out dancing a few times. Instead of feeling like a loner in a group, I feel part of a large community of friends, and there has never been a time in my life when I've felt more accepted. Even passions I've always had have grown significantly more, and so has my confidence.

To sum it up, I am happy.

But I still have arthritis and it still hurts. My joints throb in the morning and ache when I'm tired. I still can't wear nice shoes, even ballet flats, on days I'm doing a lot of walking because my feet will swell to unbelievable proportions. I still take Enbrel twice a week (much to the entertainment of my friends). I snap, crackle and pop. I'm not close to remission. But that's okay: I'm happy with where I am now. Being in remission won't fix my problems or make me happy. I did that.