Second Guess

Since last updating, I've been taken off of sulfasalazine as it caused too many side effects to justify continuation. I experienced extreme fatigue, and as a result was sleeping almost twelve hours a day with no relief of exhaustion. In addition, I lost my appetite and barely ate at all.

I've been off of that for a few weeks now, and I'm feeling much better. My appetite still isn't what it was, but it should start coming back soon. So now I'm on Plaquenil, which is one my last options before considering biologics again. Despite my great reaction to biologics in the past, my rheumatologist insists that we try other treatments first. This is somewhat due to how powerful they are, but also to whether they are a good option for me at this point.

My rheumatologist, who I've been seeing since April, has taken note of the very active arthritis in my joints. However, what is confusing her is that for the most part, my joints are not eroded. If I was only recently experiencing joint pain, this wouldn't be surprising. However, with my long history of joint issues, damage should be obvious. There are also a few health issues I have that she is concerned about, which past doctors dismissed. 

At this point, she is doubting my diagnosis of psoriatic arthritis.

Ultimately, I'm going through the diagnosis process again.

This process isn't a pleasant one, but it is necessary. I had fought so hard to get my original diagnosis, and now it's being taken away from me. That's hard to wrap your head around. I've become so used to my diagnosis, and I've come to the point of acceptance. But now what? Will it be easier to come to terms with, since I've already done it once? Or will I even get a name out of it? But then again, what if it actually is correct?

Having the evidence of active arthritis is my only comfort right now. Before, every doctor said I looked fine. But now there is concrete evidence that I am not crazy and that is something no one can take away from me. I don't know what's going to come in the next few months, but I hope whatever comes is correct this time.