Be Not Afraid

This summer was a time for my body to recover. After having had a very difficult past few years with various arthritis treatments, I decided to detox (with permission from my doctor) and try to treat it through diet and strength training. But, while I was doing that, something else was brewing. Over the summer I developed a lot of abdominal pain and pressure that came with eating, and I've quickly become underweight. We don't quite know what is going on but thankfully I have the support of so many loved ones and a wonderful team of doctors. Recently after all my blood work was found to be clean, I found out I need to have an upper endoscopy (when the esophagus and stomach are examined with a scope).

Regardless of that, I truly feel my body healing. Having cut out certain inflammatory foods, especially coffee and excessive white sugar, I feel such a drastic change. My tendons are no longer tender and the extra fluid on my joints have vanished. For the first time in a very long time none of my joints are swollen! With minimal strength exercise (I'm trying not to burn the calories I'm barely consuming at the moment), my range of motion has greatly increased. I'm not as stiff as I once was, and feel myself moving so much freer and quicker. I feel free.

So much attention is being focused on the negative part of my health right now, and rightly so, but I can't help but rejoice in my healing joints. And I'm so excited to continue forward and experiment further with my own diet, adding and subtracting to see what works. I cannot wait to begin to walk and swim more once I can begin consuming more calories. I've even decided to put my cane into retirement. God willing, permanently.

But overall, I'm feeling good. Maybe not physically well all the time, but mentally I feel very positive. I'm taking care of myself, and seeking help when I cannot do it alone. And it feels amazing to do that. I did feel very discouraged for a while dealing with my new symptoms, but I realize that there is no reason to. I'm just trying to move forward- I've been through worse before, and I can get through this too (with lots of self care, of course). Maybe I feel more empowered realizing I have so much more control in my health than I initially thought, or perhaps it's having such wonderful support. Either way, I truly believe everything will be okay again soon.

Sending lots of gentle hugs and all my newly acquired extra spoons to my spoonies today.